Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD)
Yes, I foolishly follow people with bags only to watch as they toss them in the trunk and head back inside. I steer slowly past busy front doors and get caught in pedestrian traffic jams. I creep down entire aisles full of cars and get fooled over and over by Motorbike Mirages. I signal quickly and clog up lanes as I fumble back and forth into the spot, screeching and scraping my tires with every turn. We are experiencing lower than normal call volumes. They set their heavy glass dish down on my kitchen counter and peel back the plastic bag to reveal an earth-toned rainbow of deliciosity.
And eventually the end of the meal arrives and the hero dessert is paraded to the table with pomp, fanfare, forks, and a stack of plates. I like its style. And so I eat it as soon as possible. I have a piece here, I have a piece there. I chip away at it until eventually there is only one piece left. I know its taste well, having succumbed to its viselike grip over me for a few days since the party.
I may actually be sick of it, but I would never admit it. All I know is that there are only a couple more minutes left of enjoying its company forever. It is a very happy yet very sad time. There are some ways that eating the last remaining piece of dessert can be made sweeter, though: 1. Eating it cold. When that dessert is only a couple feet away from your mouth, there really is no time allowed for heating.
Eating it straight from the big serving dish. Watch out for wobbling. The big one. This neverending swirly-twirly headtrip can be a bit much sometimes, so we try to place some delicate order on our bumpy, chaotic lives. Oh sure, maybe setting a calendar on the beautiful insanity of life is like placing a square of tissue paper on a hurricane. Order gives us the recess bell, cake-baking smell, and Christmas Eve with the family.
Order gives us a lot. It just feels like sweet release. Sunday is the new Saturday. Now you can make late night plans without excuses. Saturday is Uncharted Territory. And it is glorious. Getting mom to drive to the drugstore to load up on the thick flimsy is a great start to a great project. Come on, we both know that cardboard added scientific integrity to your research—the seventh-grade equivalent of getting your work published in The New England Journal of Awesome.
The solar system. There are two types of eruptions. Growing something. Whether it was lima beans or patches of fresh grass, it was a classic move to study Sunlight vs. Shadow, Music vs. No Music, or Watering Plants vs. Pouring Coke on Them. Coke is bad. Speaking of Coke, did you have that kid who left a tooth or some nails sitting in it for a month? Every science fair had a few of these gems. Keep that chin up, tiger. Yes, beautiful science fair moments were always a perfect close to months of hallway passion, energetic classes, and long lonely nights cutting block letters out of construction paper.
Yes, all that learning just sponges, soaks in, and sticks there forever Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) a new generation of curiosity seekers gets their buzzing minds moving us all forward and forward and forward. It was all just a dream. Yes, when our bodies take blows, those powerful jolts make us cry salty tears, run for the hills, or crashland in hospital beds with limbs hanging everywhere.
But that pain really is there for three big reasons: 1. Bandage time. Your brain focuses every neuron on getting you out of Danger Bay and returning you to Safety Beach. Long live the cast. Pain reminds us to take care of injured body parts so they can heal. We lean on crutches so our ankles can untwist, plaster broken arms so bones can set, and bandage cuts to prevent infections. Fool me twice, shame on me. Think of pain as a cranky granny shaking her finger when you sheepishly come schlepping up the front walk battered and bruised.
And no more medieval battle games in the forest. Chinese chemical plants, hot liquid rubber, and the musty stench of cargo bays combine to form this mind-altering buzz. The key-cutting machine. Stacks of lumber. Decades of sun, water, and carbon dioxide help grow tiny seedlings in the sod into majestic giants of the forest. Assorted old spills.
Somebody kicked a can of paint thinner under Aisle 3 fifteen years ago and now its faintly toxic aroma is hanging limply in the air along with metal nail dust, shiny tools, and plastic snow shovels.
Big plastic bins full of tiny parts. Suddenly chubby legs get the trim-down treatment, saggy flabs get toned, and all the dark creases crinkle in just the right places and just the right spaces. See, we all have that one perfect pair of pants that fits us best. And we all know how it feels throwing them on before heading out. Airport Crew Chief. The Extremist.
People, we all know how bad your feet have it. Sweet dreams. As drool drips, skin warms, and a slippery sweatfilm slides between you, just smile, close your eyes, and fade into a quiet cuddly moment with someone you love. Someone tosses it a bit too high or a bit too wobbly and suddenly your whole game gets stuck in a tight squeeze.
Now the basketball is behind the backboard, the tennis ball is on the roof, and the Frisbee is stuck in the tree. Of course the best way to get that ball out is by using its family members against it. Double Down. This is when your second ball joins the first ball instead of popping it out.
Bring out the ladder, hockey stick, or swimming pool noodles. This is the opposite of the double down. In this case the good news is the tennis racquet, garden stones, or running shoes you tossed up there did the job.
The Understudy. You popped the wedged basketball out, but the other ball you threw up there got stuck behind the backboard. The Sunset. Good luck, driveway warriors. Beef jerky wrappers, stained T-shirts, and a sweaty cooler fill the backseat of the rusty Volvo as they cruise crosscountry to soak in some sunny freedom before school starts.
You see them laughing in front of you with a plate from your hometown and you smile softly at distant days gone by. As you pass their big boxy RV in the slow lane, you peek in and notice a wrinkly driver in a tight ballcap and baggy pink shirt steering fiercely with a big twinkle in her eye.
Your brain backflips as you daydream about your last day of work. You glance at your boyfriend riding shotgun and he looks up innocently and smiles. Dusty towns, big cities, open fields, and tree-lined lanes may lie between us. Saturday we got here. Sunday we did nothing. Then after that we did nothing. The next day we did nothing. She had a big smile when I got there and was waiting in the lobby wearing lipstick and a cream cable-knit sweater. She had the tickets prepurchased and a purse packed with white chocolate, mixed nuts, and two bottles of water.
Where do you want to sit? Wherever you want to sit— before grabbing a couple in the middle of the red plushy tundra.
We chatted, chilled, and chowed down on chocolate before leaning back for the start of the show. My mom fell asleep in twenty minutes. I elbowed her softly and her eyes popped open. After a couple more elbow jabs, I eventually just let her go. When the credits started rolling and the houselights turned up we put on our coats and made our way down.
I drove her home down the quiet, wet-slicked roads, through empty intersections, past my old school and the park where my sister and I had soccer practice. When we reached the house, she smiled groggily, gave me a big hug, and said come back soon. As I zipped down the highway into the bright city lights my brain photo-flashed back. Now no one has to feel bad. Hello darkness, my old friend. You can swerve your bike in all directions, hop off the curbs, and be a two-wheeled free spirit.
House lights flick off and raccoons paw trash cans as you rule your Neighborhood Empire as the newly crowned Street King. Just keep that crown under your helmet for safety. Yes, riding your bike late at night lets you be alone with your thoughts and your dreams and your fears all rolling around your brain as you roll around the block.
As that cell phone, digital camera, or pair of sunglasses crashlands on the concrete, everyone gasps as it crunches, bounces, and skids hard. You glance down the hall and see ambulance guys racing toward you wheeling your bloody cell phone strapped to a gurney without any noticeable lights or beeps. Your eyebrows furrow and pupils dilate as you snap on latex gloves, pull up your surgical mask, and start frantically checking for vitals.
There is a pause. Then suddenly as everyone waits. The power flashes and blinks back on. And there is cheering. Yes, like a loyal employee punching out after a hard day on the line, your earwax heads home with its lunchbox in hand after drowning dust and dirt on a double shift in your ear canal. I know them from somewhere. Photos flash of high school dances, first jobs, and college parties.
You imagine beards and mustaches, picture them in ballcaps, or mentally dye their hair blond. You wonder and wonder and think and think and stare and stare until!
It clicks. The little brain men slam filing cabinets and cheer, one of them pulls the steam whistle and smoke flies out your ears, and a slow and satisfied smile curls onto your face as you finally place the mystery person. Then maybe you say hi or something. Come in, come in, come in, make yourself at home, make yourself at home. Okay, so! How are you! Relax, sit down. Are you hungry, thirsty? Do you want a Coke, orange juice, water?
Just water? Alright, with or without ice? Want like a grilled cheese or something? Oh, wait! Do you want some? Have a seat! Sit down, sit down, relax, you drove a long way. Do you need an alarm clock? Oh, what do you like for breakfast? Actually, you know what, we need milk. You can use my computer if you want to check your email before going to bed. Good night!
Sleep tight! Did you sleep well? It was great catching up. Alright, have a great day. Thanks again for coming over! When everybody crowds around the coffee table, I start sulking and retreat to the couch where I occupy myself with productive jobs such as piling all the coasters, finger-dragging the crumbs out the side of the cushions, or trying to eat a potato chip without chewing it, which is actually much more difficult than it sounds. Hey, the last piece of the puzzle is great because it means you have the last piece of the puzzle.
Talk about a buzz kill. Secondly, it means you finally get to see the big picture. Some people mount these things and stick them on a wall. Nothing wrong with that. Now the party can really get nuts. Sitting in the torn vinyl booths by the jukebox, you drank those tiny bubbles, slurped cold clumps, and shot back all the swirling sweet cream at the bottom of the glass.
Your entire body shivered and shook and you sucked back that delicious frosty glass of milkshake. And guess what? Then it hits you. Nose twitching, brain sniffing, you catch faint fumes of something sizzling in the kitchen. Can it be? Is this why you woke up?
It smells like a sunny Sunday at the chilly campsite with your boyfriend. It smells like pajamas and a fresh newspaper with your grad school roommates. It smells like little white grease bubbles in a crispy black pan. Handrails play helper as you leap on stage as the quick-zipping star of the show. Roboto Man. Eager Beavers. Eager beavers sometimes leap up two, three, four Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) at a time.
The Tarzan. Some lords of the jungle motor down the stairs and then plant their hands on the rail to swing themselves the rest of the way.
If done poorly, it can be ankle sprainy. Cliff Jumpers. This is just a huge, free-falling jump, generally on the way down to the basement to play video games. There is no limit to the heights you can reach with this move. Jump up. Jump down. Jump forever. So many rainy nights, so many deck parties, so many quick trips for gas.
For hundreds of thousands of years our species peed freely, whenever, wherever. Sadly, things are different now. Most of the time our bladders are all locked up. Sweaty palms, white knuckles, deep breaths in bed. Moonlight shines in your window as excitement bubbles in your brain.
Dampness Double Check. Nobody likes a wet bottom. Keep your backside dry by spying classic signs like slightly dipped areas or permanently shady patches. Sticks and Stones. Stay away. Temp Check. Frisbee Lookout. Shaggy-haired dudes in hemp necklaces and bare feet toss Frisbees, dads play catch with their kids, and Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) toddlers in T-shirts and diapers run around playing Chase The Dog or Run Till You Faceplant.
Grab a coffee, throw the kids in a stroller, or walk a dog with friends. As that breeze blows by just close your eyes and enjoy a few quiet minutes of relaxing and soaking it all in.
Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Now think back for a second to the last time you heard a tiny baby pop out a stinky heater. So what? After all, maybe you do your nose picking in the car, shower behind a curtain at the gym, or burp quietly into a fancy cloth napkin.
So just relax and let it out. Dating site for Expats in Germany Finding love is a challenging quest even in your home country. Online dating guide for expats Living in Germany is an incredible opportunity to rediscover and reinvent yourself, including the romantic side of your life. Why dating for expats in Germany? Online Dating Tips for Men vs. Women Is online dating easier for single female expats in Germany than for their male counterparts?
I am retired from the Army and Current Army Civilian Employee and we have been preparing for the worst since I can remember. You got to be ready for anything, Zombies, Anthrax, terrorist. As for the the kit that CDC listed, too basic.
Spend the money on quality flashlights, radios, medical kits. Get ready now, tomorrow might be too late. I also have bets on the Aliens will get you before the zombies do! I would suggest chain mail. I could go on as I have thought quite a bit about zombie apocalypses happening but. You know. How about some make-up so you can look like a zombie? Escape to where? We are all going to die anyway. May as well go out happy. When there is no more room in hell, the dead shell walk the earth.
Terminator, minus the time travel is way more possible than a Zombie attack, so tell me what the CDC is going to do about that. I am about to forward the url to all my friends but I think that it great that a government body somewhere on earth is finally starting to take the threat of a zombie invasion seriously because I seriously hate scary movies and a zombie invasion would be the most terrifying thing on the planet! Nice to see that a government organization that has one of the most serious of jobs, can show that their people and have some fun once in a while.
And the preparedness kit they describe really is a good emergency preparedness kit in general. Good job! Some scenes involved the CDC. It will happen hopefully not in our life time though. It even says in the bible that the dead will rise from there graves.
So if the CDC is backing it up along with bible it has to be true. The best place to start you preperation is the nearest army surplus store,they will have every thing you need. But if push comes to shove you and your own come first. Your supply list is Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) good and has helped me with my plan. My plan is to round up about 20 people head to Wal-mart baricade evry entrance with shelfs and anything else heavy. If anyone else has any ideas how do make my plan better pleas let me know.
What a great way to get younger generations to pay attention to the importance of emergency preparedness! Federal funding well spent. Cudos to all involved. This is genius, if you want to educate the under 30 crowd about emergency preparedness this will do it!
I was pretty entertained by this, until I wondered how many tax dollars were wasted in the preparation of this article. I envision a project manager, a task force, dry-erase boards, spreadsheets… awesome use of government time and taxpayer funds! We hope you enjoyed the article and understand the importance of being prepared for any emergency, especially real ones like hurricanes, floods, or tornados.
We used existing staff, resources, and communication channels. We are really proud of the number of people we reached on a shoestring budget. Wow, i love how the CDC trys to down play the fact that tere are Zombies. I am sure they are a bi product of some government testing gone wrong. This is a 48 hour survival kit listed in this article, and contains everything you MUST have to survive 48 hours on foot. Make one in a large backpacking bag and keep it in your garage.
This is absolutely an EPIC post! Definitely sharing. Thinking I am totally insane for even considering a Zombie Apocalypse as a possibility. Hey Man. I would rather be prepared. And guess who will be calling me once zombies are knocking down their door. Even the CDC thinks so. Thanks so much CDC! For showing the judgemental unbelievers, it is possible for a Zombie Infestation.
Listen people. For all of you morons who are complaining that the government is wasting money on this, please read it. This is about natural disasters. They are using the zombie angle to get people reading. Just substitute bird flu for zombie apocalypse and this is a very good article. I for one have never gone to a CDC page and read anything except travel advisories until this, so it captured my interest.
The bird flu of aka Spanish flu killed more people than WWI, so it is still a real danger. Thank you CDC for still looking out for us.
Nice little posting, however: Most likely if there was a Zombie outbreak you are looking more towards Night of the living dead, Shaun of the Dead and Last of the living Zombies, they would be slow moving because of muscle deterioration and loss of a lot of mental capacity including movement.
What if there were to be a virus spread genetically that activated in the 10th year or any year of life, so nobody could prepare for it? When was the last time you got so many hits on your blog? Good job CDC. You have got to be kidding me. No one knows when the end of time will be. An all powerful being would never let the little guy know when the final day is coming.
Why would He let you prepare. You might as well sit and suffer thinking you are going to be tortured by zombies and waste you money in the resession on your zombie kit because your zombies will be your family, friends and neighbors coming to kill, steal and distroy what you do have after the rapture does Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) and the anti-christ is the Dress Code - F.Y.P* - Incomplete Crap (CD) controlling everything left in the world.
What you eat, do, say, buy. What a crock! I am sure you people just suck! Amazing, just before finding this post I had made a game out of making a survival kit with the family. The one we had need to be updated and refreshed. The kids loved the post.
Thanx for the humor but for the real world common sense. Evacuation in any bio-hazard situation should be immediate.
My friend wants to be a proffesional zombie killer when she grows up. If a zombie bite a polar bear and it becomes a zombpolbear then i guess your …. Anyone who wants a great training course for themselves and their family shoot us an email.
Ask yourself why they would need an vaccine if there was no virus? And why was the vaccine not mentioned in this article? Well they made the zombie virus and they are working on the vaccine in a top secret lab but the scientists have not been successful yet.
So there will not be a zombie outbreak until they have the vaccine. For all you people out there talking about how we are wasting our tax money on talking about zombies- live a little! And for all you idiots out there freaking out about how there really will be an apocolypse- get a life.
Seriously lay off, if you wanna be prepared then cool but stop stuffing your opinions down the throat of others.
This is coming from a 16 year old girl, and I make more sense than all of you paranoid people. Brilliant campaign. Definitely reaching a segment of the population that would otherwise not EVER care to read anything like this. I would love to know how many people have actually read this post that would not have bothered with a normal post… Finally the CDC is providing to the level of a missed audience….
Do you know how many times I have had to explain and interpret emergency warnings to functionally illiterate individuals? Ignorance will be the leveler of the playing field. Or are you going to deny me this comment also? It is complete protection from the living dead. Prepare now……. Slick PR campaign to catch peoples attention! This is awesome! For all you people who think this is a waste of money…. You never know what will happen and it did not cost a lot of money to put this page up.
And if there is a zombie outbreak you will probably get eaten first. Learn something from them and use it in case of this happens… P. S: Not joking u should rlly check tht out.
Where is the proof of this virus. Extremely pleased with this post. What an awesome idea for informing the public what to do in case of an emergency, in such a fun and delightful manner.
A spoonful of sugar always helps the medicine go down. Sheer marketing genius! I will be posting this on facebook, I think alot of my friends will get a kick out of it. You should really make a printable.
This was a brilliant idea. Do I remember the article about Zombie Apocalypse? Brilliant and entertaining way to bring attention to such an important issue. Nice job! And a shoutout to my fellow Zombie Response Team members! Is this a joke? Do you Americans really beleave in this? Greetings from Europe.
If a zombir bites you on the arm, can you cut off your limb and thus be saved from the infection? Im sorry. But wonderful report IF it ever happened. I love it. For those that are upset that preparedness is being address this way… GET OVER IT… this is a great way to get to people, especially young people, to really look at what they need. If you look around you see Zombies all over the place… at least talk about the impending zombie apocalypse. Good job!!
This was a very well thought out idea. What a fun way to get people thinking about real disaster preparation. I can see by some of the comments that are negative — some people did not read it before replying.
First of all, the CDC is not funded by your tax dollars people but if it was you should be proud. With what is going on in DC these days, it appears that there are already a bunch of Zombies in Congress and the White House….
Please put a disclaimer on this article that this is not true. My son suffers from paranoia and is extremely disturbed that what is written is actually real. You have got to be kidding me…. This is ridiculous! The CDC has been watching way too many cheesy old horror flicks.
All the advice in this article can be applied to ANY diasater situation. Now back to zombies, I would also include some kevlar gloves and even sleeves if you can afford them so you dont have to worry about getting bit on the hand. Really, people? Lighten up. This is wonderful. Now if only we could find a fun and innovative way to stress the importance of reading comprehension, so that the poor souls who have been upset by this blog post will have some hope of someday getting this joke.
Or any joke for that matter. For the negative complainers, the CDC really got their bang for the buck on this twist.
It is the same basic disaster preparedness information that the CDC has been making available to the public, but with some tongue in cheek humor added to make it a little more enjoyable and get the public attention. In trying to get people to read the information available, this zombie twist hit the jackpot. In all seriousness, the preparedness information contained is valid useful information. Read it. Understand it. Use it. You will not be sorry. The emergency preparedness kits should also be useful during the next Rapture scheduled for this October and the cataclysm associated with the end of the Mayan calendar in December C does act fast to something so critical and crazy as something like this i would survive to the fullest.
Sanitation is an important factor to keep in mind since public water supplies might not be operational during an extended power outage. Thousands are suffering and this really does not humor me. You may also want to stop asking people for their psychiatric problem in the Oils spill also. I wrote to Joe Biden and your head of the CDC sent a tepid response to me that there is no danger in the spill and no danger in the dispersants.
I think you might want to have a chat with the people because we are slammed with blood levels of people with hexane, benzine, mercury, 2 and 3 Methylpentane above the 95 Quintile, Issocatane and now Cesium 99 this is nothing to be ignored. People are very ill all over the coast of the Gulf and this is not National News. I guess these workers and humans are delusional like Morgellons patients.
This is a horrific lack of oversight and compassion on the part of the CDC and yes while the world is awash in Environmental Armegeddon you put out an article that you think is cute.
Bicycles would be essential for getting around fossil fuels would definitely run out in an Apocalypse situation. Motorcycle jump suits would provide decent armor as they can stay intact after an accident it would be hard for teeth or nails to get through. Brick walls would make a decent defense.
Definitely invest in solar panels for electricity main power grids would probably go down. This is an old article. I read it a couple months ago. I have seen this apocalypse coming. They will be here soon. Is it ? I do not know at all. I agree with Dylan. This was a well thought out way to get people prepared for natural disasters.
I know many people walk around care free thinking nothing can happen and everything will be provided by the government, well we seen how that worked out after a few hurricanes. Having worked in law enforcement for over 16 years I can tell you most people are not prepared for even a small disaster and rely on the police and fire to take care of everything.
Each citizen should take a little self responsibility and put a kit together with all the items listed by the CDC and Ready. That way if a family should have to shelter in place until help arrives they can be prepared and sustain some safety and health and not tax the system should help be slow to get there.
Zombies are a good example to get everyone prepared for a disaster, it makes the idea of being prepared fun and get your entire family involved. Thanks CDC for a wonderful way to get people ready for any emergency.
But it surely got their attention and likely may save their life one day for making them read something they probably never would have. Thanks for reading and for your blog comment. As we have mentioned previously this blog incurred no additional costs to the government.
We used existing staff and resources and feel that it has completed our mission of informing the public about important public health preparedness messages. What a fun, creative way to teach kids and Adults about emergency response kits!
My boys now have taken interest in our 72 hr kit, where it is, and what is in it. Government money well spent! Most important is to teach them how to survive without you and the importance of proper mindset.
If you are the Alpha male of your house hold, then most likely you have shielded them, provided for them, and protected them their whole lives. Its time to teach them to protect and provide for themselves. You are going to have a horrible job of holding society together and preventing anarchy, the least that you can do for yourself is make sure you KNOW that your family is going to be OK, so you can focus on your job and your responsibilities to the greater good.
You people that commet on things such as this with negative comments are just pathetic. Amusing angle that worked as intended! Did our tax dollars go to this tripe?
This all comes from the organization that for years has been at the forefront of taking our 2d amendment rights from us. Zombie defense can only be accomplished through application of accurately directed objects via kinetic energy as a function of the ejection of lead from a metal tube caused by a gaseous explosion. I agree with the saferooms, preferably having air vents, plants, heavy doors and no windows. However, there needs to be a service that allows areas to coordinate saferooms so that there is always a saferoom within a hour walking distance of another saferoom.
Also, large, strategic bridges should be destroyed and ferries be offered in place so that zombies would be better isolated to land masses. Wow, posts! This blog article must have been read by thousands of people after it went viral.
Kudos to the genius who dreamed this up! As someone who has been preparing prepping for a long time and has CERT training I think this is great! Its a wonderful way of getting kids and adults to think about how to protect life and property. Other Way 8. This One 9. Fuck Madonna The City Skeezer Nation Inside Her Prudershime Runaway Fight Back Check em out. This is one of the FYP albums I would blast all the fucking time.
On the back of the CD itself all the tracks are in random places and out of order. You had to figure out the correct tracklisting. But here it's all laid out for you. Thanks to strenghtcrew. Check it out. Tuesday, May 26, P. I've posted their first full length here previously. This is a sampler CD I recieved from them I think in It has never been released to my knowledge, and have since made more.
Great fucking shit here, good and dirty hardcore punk from these North San Diegans. Catch their show if you can Labels: Wanted Dead. No comments:. It was created for comp.
The classic pocket guide to the language of London. Includes over 1, old and new rhymes translated from Cockney to En. The writings of the Apostolic Fathers give a rich and diverse picture of Christian life and thought in the period immedi.
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